Last Class of 2009

Well, it has been quite some time since I have posted. Between life getting in the way and both of my laptops getting a virus I haven’t really been able to do much online. I know; excuses, excuses. I had a really interesting class on Saturday the 18th. I will have to post about that another time though because I need to list all the techniques we did. I came to several realizations in that class. So stay tuned for information about that class!

Last Wednesday was the last class we had before the dojo closed until the New Year. Wednesday’s class was a hectic class. We had a guy come for a visit who used to go to our dojo. He was a fantastic guy! He was very nice, amazingly smooth rolls and just an all round great person to work with. He was a very sympathetic uke and he gave a lot of feedback. If I wasn’t sure about something, but was actually doing it correctly, he would say, “That’s it. Keep going.” I have no idea what rank he is or left at, but I would love to work with the guy again. Sensei used him as uke for a bit too, which speaks for him. Sensei doesn’t just use anyone for uke. We worked a lot on techniques that required a fish like movement. You know, you stick your hand out in front of you parallel to the floor with your thumb up towards the ceiling and move your hand like a fish swimming. Amazingly enough, this analogy really helped me grasp the motion better. Before, I was doing more like a palm heel strike movement. Somehow, this extra grace and tiny change of the movement was all it took.

Sensei used me as uke for several techniques. One was where he did that “fish-like movement” to your ribs. I was letting my arm relax and allowing him to make contact with my ribs and leaning my body away from the strike as he pushed. I wasn’t doing anything wrong, but he told me he wanted me to ride the motion. He said he couldn’t strike me harder unless I rode his energy. I nodded. My first thought was don’t let him strike me, so for this I realized that I could no longer relax my arm as much as I did before. Sensei then did his swimming fish thing and without any effort of my own, I soon found myself swimming in the river and flying across the dojo. I landed rather nicely and couldn’t help but smile. There have only been a handful of times where I can truly say that I had ridden the energy completely. I got back up and quickly ran over to sensei and grabbed his wrist for more. What joy!

Sensei then had us go back and work with our partners. I was working with the guy I had previously mentioned. Once I discovered what it was like to ride out this technique, I was flying all over the mat! At one point, me and another uke had a run in. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but my head got whacked by something HARD! It may have been the other uke’s head or elbow. We both got up and asked if the other way okay. Once we saw we were both alright, back to flying we went! We also worked on hanmi hidachi nikyo and a few other fun techniques.

Sensei used me to demonstrate ryotedori shihonage. This went smoothly for the most part. After I took ukemi, sensei told me to keep moving and that would help with the flow of my ukemi. I was working with a yudansha and sensei told me I had stopped moving. The next time he went to throw me, I kept my feet moving. I moved in a complete circle and then I was confused. I had walked a circle in the exact same spot, so I had walked out of shihonage. My partner did another throw to me while sensei laughed at my confusion. Once I got up he told me “You kept your feet moving, but you didn’t walk anywhere.” I couldn’t help but return his smile as I again attempted to take more flowing ukemi.

At the end of the night sensei used me for uke again to demonstrate a few throws from ryotedori. I don’t really know what they are called, but kokyunage seems like a good catch all phrase for these types of throws. He was doing a few different variations and one in particular I had a hard time keeping up with. I had never taken ukemi from either of these before. Sensei was rather patient on letting me get to where I needed to be. As soon I got that down, he went to another one. By this point, I was completely exhausted. I was feeling a bit dizzy and had a hard time catching my breath because my nose has been so stuffy and when I train it begins to run down my throat. So, I have a stuffy nose and a throat coated in mucus. Both of those things don’t allow me to breathe too well. Grr…. A few of my falls must have looked pretty rough. Sensei doesn’t often ask me if I am okay after taking ukemi, so when he does, I know it must have looked bad. The key to both good and bad ukemi is to relax. Even if you take bad ukemi, I find that staying relaxed is enough to keep me from getting hurt.

One thing aikido has taught me is to just go with the flow. You can’t really worry about where you are going to end up. You just have to worry about moving. Luckily, I don’t really have a fear of taking ukemi and I am able to just let myself move (though sometimes I am clumsy if I have never taken ukemi for it). Sometimes if I still don’t get the ukemi right, sensei will have me sit and watch someone else take it. I don’t really look at this as if I failed. I look at what they are doing that I am not doing. Sometimes he asks me back up to try to take ukemi again and other times he doesn’t. I know I will get the chance again some day!

Anyway, after we all had our chance to do the two techniques (I stuck to just one because I had a hard time with it) the class came to a close. What a great way to end training for 2009! After class a few people walked up to me and asked if I was okay. They said I looked like I wasn’t feeling well. Even my husband asked me several times if I was alright. I told everyone that I was fine, but tired. One of the yudansha told me that it is strange how your ukemi changes when you are tired. Usually I find I am more relaxed when I am tired, but obviously I am not able to just jump up and attack as quickly as I could if I weren’t. Howard then asked me if I wanted to go home instead of staying for iaido. Let’s face it, iaido doesn’t really require that much energy, so staying wouldn’t really be an issue. Instead of taking this route of logic, I swallowed my pride and told him that we could go. I really was tired and all I wanted to do was lay down. We both walked downstairs and told sensei that we weren’t going to stay for iaido. I then told sensei that unfortunately we wouldn’t be here for New Years training on the second because we had family coming into town. He looked a bit sad and told us that we would be missed.

We all stood around and chatted for a bit after changing. I told the guy who was in town visiting that it was a pleasure to meet him and that I really enjoyed training with him. I asked when he would be back again and he said sometime in the summer. At that point, I did something that hurt my finger. When they inquired what I did to my finger, I then told them how I must be fragile because I had hurt it the other night lifting pillows of all things. I never knew that lifting pillows could give your middle finger a strain, but it can… The visitor looked at me and said I don’t believe anything about you being fragile. If someone can take ukemi from Bluhm Sensei, then they aren’t fragile at all. That made me feel a little better about my ukemi, but my injured finger does speak for itself! At that point, we all said our goodbyes, Merry Christmases and our happy new years.

As I sit here a week and a day since my last training, I can’t help but reflect on my training in 2009. My first steps on the mat in March seem so far away; a distant memory. My technique and ukemi is still atrocious, but I can honestly say that I have seen improvement in myself. My ukemi is slowing getting more fluid and soft. My techniques aren’t quite as rigid and choppy. I also realize that I have a lot of work before me. I have much to learn and much to improve upon. It’s hard to believe that in three more months, I will have already been training at the dojo for a year! In the meantime, I am waiting for 2010 to roll around. Hopefully, it will be another rewarding year of aikido training!

Big wheels keep on turnin'

This week has been a bit of a blur. Tuesday seems like the distant past; almost like a foggy hint of a dream…. Anyway, despite the fact that I don’t really recall much of anything, I do know that I left the class feeling alright with myself. Having all the new people there has slowed the class down a bit, which is just what I needed that night. Going slow allows me the chance to really analyze and/or feel what I am doing. I appreciate the opportunity of working with beginners. First off, it shows me that I have gotten better over the past 9 months or so and working with them helps me realize my own mistakes. They don’t know how to move, so you really have to do the technique right to get them moving. If I don’t lift their elbow, it isn’t going. They aren’t able to move yet and they can’t anticipate what you are doing, so they can’t be nice to you. Working with the beginners is a sobering experience that can be both challenging and rewarding.

At the end of the class sensei had me and a yudansha demonstrate suwariwaza ryotedori kokyuho. Well, I didn’t really demonstrate so much as take the ukemi for it. The dojo was so hot and muggy that I lost grip of his wrist. Sensei scolded me for it and I made sure it didn’t happen again after I wiped my hands on my pants. Since the class was an odd number, sensei reid to me and offered to work on the technique from standing (he isn’t able to do suwariwaza right now). I wasn’t really expecting him to take me all the way to the mat, but he ended up putting me first into a roll and then decided to put me into a breakfall. Once that was done, he sorta hip threw me. I’m not sure if he wanted me to turn into him (so our chests were facing the same direction) or not, so I stayed where I was and he hip threw me to the mat. He did that a few times. One time he threw me harder then he meant to and asked me if I was fine. I quickly got to my feet and told him I was (I didn’t think I was thrown hard at all actually).

At this point, sensei decided to move on. He had me grab him again and then he stepped in. He told me to turn so we were facing the same way, so I did. He then dropped his hips and raised me up on his back. YAY! This was going to be a fun throw! Next thing I know, he is doing koshinage to me. He was very slow and gentle (a bit to my disappointment because being thrown slow messes up my timing a bit). I think he was just test driving my comfort with this type of throw and seeing how I would land. I got back up to my feet and said “That was fun!” I guess this was what sensei wanted to hear because he decided to throw me a few more times and each time he threw me it got a little bit faster. The last time he threw me I felt like my landing was perfect. My slap had great timing and I thought to myself “That was the best yet!” then sensei quickly popped my bubble by saying “You land too hard.”

At that point, sensei clapped and had us line up to bow out of class. After class, we went downstairs I asked sensei how I could practice soft breakfalls. He explained that there are times when all of your body should land at once and there are times where you can slightly round your body. He told me that my fall was not incorrect, but he wanted me to start working on taking softer breakfalls. I told him that I was more then willing to try and then said that it would probably be a hard habit for me to break because that is how I was taught to land in my previous style. Sensei smiled and said “Yes. You have jujitsu style landings.” I know I can start working on these softer breakfalls because the rest of my ukemi has become softer over the past few months. Before, all of my falls were “hard” but I have learned to take softer landings. I am sure my breakfalls would become the same way if given the opportunity to work on them more often.

Wednesday’s class was very hectic. The class was non-stop and it wasn’t long before we had the windows all foggy. It was actually nice to have very little rest period in between the techniques because I need the exercise. I have been doing nothing but pigging out for the past few weeks (Thanksgiving, dojo potluck, work potluck, Christmas is coming up and New Years is coming up). The only thing I really remember is one time sensei called me up to be uke. He was demonstrating gyaku hanmi katatedori kaitenage to katagatame. Well, the first time he did it, I wasn’t sure what was going on. At first I was going forward and I thought I was going into a roll, but then I could feel myself being pulled back, so I followed. I ended up where I was supposed to be, albeit it clumsily. I sheepishly looked up at sensei and apologized. It doesn’t happen too often that I don’t do what is expected of me, so when it does happen I feel very stupid. After that, I didn’t have a problem. About three times he took me down partway and then let me up. I don’t know if he was just seeing if I was going down or if I was still be lively or not, but I think I passed the test because I popped back up as soon as he wasn’t taking me down anymore.

Thursday there were four students. Two yudansha, me and the guy I always mention who has been there a little over a year. Since both of us are 5th kyu, the yudansha decided to make the class based around the 4th kyu testing requirements. I found this very useful because the techniques that we did were techniques that I have either never done before or haven’t had much practice with. I really appreciated the opportunity and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was a very laid back and casual class, which was nice because it allowed for the opportunity of asking questions. I can’t ask questions in an every day class because we try to minimize talking in the class. That isn’t to say that you can’t ask questions, but the opportunity isn’t as available as it was for this class.

Here is a list of techniques we worked on. I was told this was about 1/3 or the list of requirements for the 4th kyu test:
Gyaku hanmi katatedori:
Ikkyo
Nikyo
Sankyo
Soto kaitenage sankyo
Reverse kotegaeshi
Shihonage
Iriminage (jodan)

Once that class was over, it was the same four of us for the weapons class that sensei taught. We did some jo combinations as well as jo versus bokken combinations. It was a lot of fun. Although my technique with the jo is horrendous I noticed that I was improving a bit. Bit by bit, the corrections from sensei are slowly changing, which means one of two things: I am either getting better at it so he has moved on to fixing something else or that I am so hopeless that he has given up on correcting that habit. HAHA. I would like to think it is the first one. The other 5th kyu who was there was having some difficulties with the testing requirements and with the jo and I think that is what also made me realize that I am progressing with the evil jo after all. I guess in the end I realized two things: big wheels keep on turning and blood, sweat, bumps and bruises do lead to improvement over time.

Playing Catch Up

Let’s go back to the 5th, which was a Saturday. Sensei decided that the theme for this class would be yokomenuchi. For an hour and a half, everything we did began with a yokomenuchi attack. We did all sorts of techniques: ikkyo, nikyo, sankyo, yonkyo, gokyo, shihonage, kotegaeshi, kokyuho, as well as a few techniques that don’t have a name. No surprise, but I realized that my nikyo and sankyo need some work. Actually, no need to be modest, it needs a LOT of work! I figure that will come with time though. We also did some techniques using the tanto. We did ikkyo and gokyo from a yokomenuchi attack and we did some basic evasion (irimi) and kotegaeshi from tsuki. All in all, I found it to be an enjoyable class. A bit challenging at times, but it went well. I guess that is something I should get used to. It seems Saturday’s is more of an advanced class and I am one of the few beginners that come on a regular basis.

Tuesday’s class went well. We had three beginners. Each of them has only attended a few classes. Sensei made it a really laid back class. We worked on ukemi, irimi, tenkan, irimi-tenkan, tai no henko (3 variations), gyaku hanmi kokyuho and maybe something else. At one point I was working with the new girl (We’ll call her Anna). She seemed a bit frustrated. I did my best to help her by leading her hand and such. I have no problem working with beginners. This is my second time around as a beginner in martial arts, so I guess I can really empathize with them. After class I was talking to her and she told me she was frustrated because she is confused all the time. I smiled and told her that unfortunately, that comes with being a beginner in aikido. I told her that I have been in class for 9 months now and I still feel hopelessly lost at times. I then told her that there are days that I leave the dojo very frustrated with myself. That seemed to put her at ease a little bit. I told her to stick with it and that slowly, but surely, it would get a little easier. As my husband and I were walking up to the dojo for Tai Chi, sensei stopped Anna and told her not to be so frustrated with herself. Anna said that she would try to stick with it and that she would give it more time. I asked her if she would be in class on Thursday (the other beginner night) and she said yes, but she didn’t show up.

Wednesday’s class was frustrating. Sensei’s wife used to teach the intro to weapons class, but now they have another yudansha teaching. I really like this guy, but tonight he was very strict (which I don’t mind by the way). We were working with the jo and doing some basic responses. Well he kept telling us we were too close to each other. Each time, I made sure that I was not in range of my partners jo, but he still said I was too close. So, each time I continued to move further away from my partner. It got to the point that after I blocked, when I slid down the jo, I could no longer hit their hands. He then told me that I had to hit the hands. Needless to say, I was getting very frustrated. Anyway, by the time class was over, I was glad. I know that isn’t necessarily a good thing, but everyone has one of those days right?

Second hour was me, my husband, sensei, a yudansha and another student who has been there a little over a year. Sensei had us get bokkens and we were working on a few things. Well, at one point, I was working with sensei. Both people were attacking shomen, except one person would turn slightly offline and then “finish” the other person. Well, sensei had just told me to use control and to ensure that my arm stayed straight when WHAM! All the sudden, the top of my head hurt as if I had been hit in the head with something hard and solid. Wait…. I was hit in the head with something hard and solid. I just got cracked upside the head with sensei’s heavy bokken! I tried to be nice about it and play it off, but it really hurt! It brought tears to my eyes! Sensei placed his hand on my head where he hit it and said “I haven’t done that in a while.” I again told him I was fine. We went back to practicing. The rest of the class went pretty uneventful. I did have a tender head though that night and the next day.

Thursday was another laid back class. It was me, my husband, the guy who’s been there for a little over a year and two beginners. We worked on tai no henko, morotedori kokyuho, morotedori nikyo and I think that is it. Anyway, class went pretty well. The only problem I had was working with the one new guy on tai no henko. He is a very strong guy and he likes to clench the life out of your wrists/forearm. Working with this guy is a blessing and a burden I guess. I really like working with him because I can’t muscle my way through a technique. It is either proper form or I’m not going anywhere. Anyway, while working with him on tai no henko, it wasn’t so much as a do the technique right as it was an “Ouch, my bones are bending!” thing. The sempai who was teaching kept iterating the importance of getting under nage’s wrist, moving with nage to maintain contact and such, but none of this was really sinking in with him. It wasn’t long before I was dreading my turn to do the technique. I mean, my arms were seriously hurting! I just kept hoping that the sempai would clap and we’d all line up for the next technique, but no such luck. The torture just kept going on…. and on….. and on! It did end though eventually. Needless to say, the rest of the techniques hurt a bit because my arms were tender.

Second hour sensei had us get shinai’s to work. Sensei said he wanted us to work on having relaxed hands, a sense of sticky swords, as well as moving and being light on our feet. I actually had a lot of fun in this class. There were four of us for this class, so it was nice having even numbers. I started to get a good feeling for being light with my hands. One of my favorite things we did was I would lower my sword to the right and the other person would come in to strike my wrists in a shomen-type cut. Before they got your wrist, you would slide back and lift your sword up so it’s parallel to the floor. That would block the attack and then you slide it down the blade in a shomen-type cut and ended up cutting their wrist. I am much more comfortable working with the sword and I think it shows. I think I am just more relaxed and fluid with it. Doing iaido probably helps with that though. I’m guaranteed to work with the sword at least twice a week, where we don’t always work with the jo.

Saturday I stayed home from class. We were having a potluck at the dojo later that night and I figured it would give me time to bake and do the other foods that I was bringing to the dojo. Turns out it was a good thing I skipped class because the roads were a sheet of ice. My husband had to be at work at 7 in the morning and he said he had to drive 18 mph the whole way because the roads were a sheet of ice. Anyway, the roads cleared up in time for the 6 p.m. potluck. It was a lot of fun. We had some good food: okonomiyaki (cabbage pancakes), chili, lasagna, chips & chicken dip, watergate salad, snickerdoodles, carrot cake, marrionberry pie and two types of beer. Everything was homemade except for the last three items on that list. It was great to sit in a circle on the floor and just socialize. I brought the chips & chicken dip, watergate salad and the snickerdoodles. At one point, I took snickerdoodles off the list and sensei got upset because he said I couldn’t mention bringing snickerdoodles and then take it off the list. So, I ended up bringing them to make him happy. He made a point to say that the snickerdoodles were good. Actually, they were fairly popular because quite a few were eaten. I ended up going to sensei at the end of the potluck and asked him if he would like the smaller tin of cookies. He smiled and said “They would be eaten.” I then handed over the tin for his eating pleasure.

Well, now we are all caught up. Sorry I have been slacking on my entries lately. Things are getting pretty hectic. Work is getting busier again and the holiday season seems to keep most people running around with their head chopped off. Hopefully, I will be able to write more frequently again soon.

Mental Block.....

I have been struggling to come up with something to write lately. Aikido is going like "normal", but life? Life is getting….. complicated. As of this moment, my family is in a bit of a crisis. I won't go into details because it is personal, but quite frankly I doubt that any of you are interested in hearing about it. With the holiday season upon us, I have begun to slip into a bit of a scrooge mentality. Truthfully, I am a bit over the holiday season this year. Too many things going on and if I could, I would put the holiday season on the backburner. Since I can't do that, I just push myself to do what is expected of me. I know that at some point during this "most wonderful time of the year" that a smile will come to my face and I will have a good time, but until then, I will stay as I am. Don't worry though, I am not depressed or anything. Been there, done that.

Anywho, since this is an aikido blog, I guess I will get back to the topic. We have a couple new people in the dojo. For this blog, I will call the new guy "Larry". I'm not sure if Larry has any previous martial arts experience or not, but what I can say is that he is VERY stiff. I have worked with him a few times over the past couple weeks. The first time I worked with him we were doing ikkyo and nikyo. Let's just say that he has an iron grip and that moving him is like moving a rock. I was able to do the technique provided I used good technique (which is a good thing to be challenged in this way). When I got him to the mat for nikyo, I was not able to get my grabbed wrist free. My wrist is a tiny 5" circumference, so most people can easily grab and hold onto me. No matter what I tried (yes, I went against the thumb), I could not free myself. Anyway, that didn't really bother me too much. I know I could have easily hauled off and punched him in the kidney, head, etc and he would have let go. I'm capable of being an aggressive person if necessary (though you probably wouldn't guess it by my mild mannered action in aikido). Throw me into a more aggressive style and I love it. Anyway, it did bug me that I wasn't able to release my wrist with an effortless and painless (for uke) method. Instead, I ended up with horrible bruising on my forearms due to his grip. Guess this will come with more practice though. Not too worried about it.

Saturday was a fun class. The class was about half yudansha and half lower rankers. We did a lot of things. We worked on a lot of things for those who are testing for 1st kyu. Some of the things are over my head, but I still appreciate the challenge. It is always nice to be introduced to something new. The great thing about it is that I feel like there is no pressure. I am not expected to get it. Yesterday's class was pretty mild because we had Larry there. The class was basically based around the concept and use of irimi. We worked on: jodan, gedan & chudan variations of tai no henko, ryotedori kokyuho & tenchinage and gyaku hanmi iriminage. Sensei had me work with Larry for both gyaku hanmi iriminage and for ryotedori kokyuho. He was allowed to throw me, but I was only to take him to the point of where his balance was taken. We were working on the high version of iriminage. I was able to get my hand up towards his face by using my center, but after cutting his arm, I was having problems again with getting my wrist free. I wasn't able to move behind him until I freed my hand. Sensei came over and was able to show me how to move my hand to get it free. Once I got that, I was able to do the technique once again.

When it came time to work with Larry for ryotedori kokyuho, sensei came over and showed Larry how to do it again and showed me how far he wanted me to take Larry in the technique. Larry did pretty well on this technique for a first time. I helped guide his stiff arms as best as I could in order to get him in the correct position. He seems eager to learn. I think sensei partnered me with him in case he threw me a bit hard. I guess he figures I can handle being tossed around. Another reason may be that he wants me to work on correct form and I am forced to do that when working with Larry because he is so stiff and rigid. At the end of class, he told me and my husband thank you for training with him. I found that rather nice. There are several other people in the dojo that he should be thanking instead of me. After all, I don't have too much to offer him at this point, but I appreciated it none the less.

After tai chi, a lady asked me and my husband if there was proper etiquette when it came to leaving the dojo. We both told her no. She was telling us that she enjoyed watching us do aikido (tai chi immediately follows aikido) and that she admired our prowess. I couldn't help but giggle and I told her that I certainly did not feel like I had any prowess at all. She said she thought it was neat how we could all be thrown and pop right back up for more. She then went on to say that she never had an interest in martial arts before, but has discovered that it is such a personal journey that she finds herself loving it more and more. That, I could completely agree with. Aikido is such a personal journey for me. I have people who walk with me at times, but ultimately, I am walking this long road all on my own.